So remember how at the end of my last post (which was like 10 minutes ago) I said I'm watching The Office. Well this shit is actually depressing the fuck out of me cause I feel like Steve Carell's Character Michael. Do matter how hard he tries no one seems to like him. He over compensates by trying to be everyone's friend, smiling and joking all the time, but in the end its useless. The only real difference between me and him is he actually gets the benefit of being everyone's superior/boss. But yea Im just watching this going dam, reminds me alot of me and how I feel at times.
***Edit*** ok after watching another episode ok Michael is kind of an asshole....I was just in my feelings.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Hello, I'm Life's Bitch
This is my first post on my first real blog. Alot of shit in my life has prompted the creation of this blog and whether other people see it or not is of no real consequence to me. I honestly just needed an outlet or vent to get out some of the shit I have built up in me over the years. I dont even know how often I will even update this blog.
All my life for the most part my life has sucked. I understand that is such a cliche phrase but in all honesty its the truth my life down right sucks. Does that mean I have never had good moments in my life or that someone elsewhere isnt worse off? Of course not. I hate how often how much someones life sucks is a competition or how you're not allowed to say your life sucks because you have food, clothes, water, and a place to sleep. Having these things is great but not a indicator that your life doesnt suck. Only that you fulfill the very basics of Maslow's hierarchy of needs,
All my life I have always tried to fit in. Which yes I know is another commonly cliched phrase but its the truth Im a overweight, black dude (Nigerian), who due to my moms over protectiveness have become somewhat of an anti-social, social, insecure bitch. I have the weirdest relationship with my mom when we get along I love her I really do, but when we dont I want to kill her. And dnt figuratively either like oh they all say that like literally like I plan how to do it in my head and pray she gives me a reason. And me and my mom dnt get along often. At the moment we're not even on speaking terms because I was gone from home for the better part of a week because I decided had I stayed in this house a day longer I would go through with killing her and I needed a break fast. I am currently 19 my birthday was this past thanksgiving (dnt get me started on how my birthday went) but I am 19 and all my life my mom has always treated me like a child and told me what to do, say, wear, eat, drink, and think. And I am tired of it. She once got mad at me for challenging her when she told me when I go vote for Obama dnt vote for question 6 or whichever one it was to legalize gay marriage. First of all I was going to vote for Obama anyway but if I didnt what business of yours is it the whole point of elections is I get to voice my opinion not the opinion of others. Also what if Im not as big a gay hater as you. Quick detour my mom is one of those die hard Christians who thinks shes perfect. But is the one who makes christians look bad and is severely hypocritically. (Arent all christians hypocrites?) Haha funny but seriously I am a christian and try to live the best way I can and its hard and I understand I fuck up and Im no better than anyone else. I personally think gay marriage is wrong even tho I will admit sexy lesbians turn me own. But honestly I will not tell someone they cannot marry someone they feel they love despite how I feel about it. And neither will I let someones sexual orientation affect how I treat them or interact with them. Even though I swear to God I hate the gay people that talk in high pitched lispy voices and walk a certain way. Being gay SHOULD NOT make you do all that. And you all no what I mean by all that.
Anyway I am going off in a tangent. Let me close my first blog entry with the reason I even got a blog in the first place. Basically I'm a severely insecure person, and extremely poor judge of character. Who has and picks terrible "friends". I spent the majority of the week I spent away from home with my "friend" we all call him Peru cause thats where he's from. Me and Peru have always sort of been cool except for the fact he owes me money for weed I fronted him and Im pretty sure he has no intention of paying me back (and yea i sell weed, I guess I'll get into that at some point in the future) and Im not really sure when we started become real tight, but long story short I considered Peru to be my boy. However turns out Peru and his sister are sketchy ass muthafuckers who cant be trusted. This fucker and his sister have been stealing from me and talking behind my back as well doing the same to their other "friends". Turns out way back (and this is all information I have found out over time from various people) that Peru has stole shit from my college dorm when I had him over one time. I also found out at this party I got super drunk at and passed out that while I was out his fuckin sister who to this day smiles at me, texts me, asks favors of me, went into my pocket stole weed and a pack of gum from me and her and Peru smoked it. To make it worse they came up with this whole cover story about how I was blacked out and gave it to some girl in exchange for a lap dance. The saddest part of the story is I FUCKING BELIEVED THEM. I also found out they stole another friend of theirs shambala bracelet which are theses expensive shiny shits. Basically these muthafuckers cant be trusted. But at the end of the day even after finding all this shit out I spent additional nights at their house, chillin with Peru, suckin up to his sister Elayne who Im pretty sure I only like cause my boy Cameron expressed interest in her. And just tonight I hit them up to chill. Just what the fuck is wrong with me?
So yea I'm just going to end it there. Its almost 5 am and the morning of whats supposed to be the end of the world. Im going to watch some The Office and hopefully try to sleep.
All my life for the most part my life has sucked. I understand that is such a cliche phrase but in all honesty its the truth my life down right sucks. Does that mean I have never had good moments in my life or that someone elsewhere isnt worse off? Of course not. I hate how often how much someones life sucks is a competition or how you're not allowed to say your life sucks because you have food, clothes, water, and a place to sleep. Having these things is great but not a indicator that your life doesnt suck. Only that you fulfill the very basics of Maslow's hierarchy of needs,
All my life I have always tried to fit in. Which yes I know is another commonly cliched phrase but its the truth Im a overweight, black dude (Nigerian), who due to my moms over protectiveness have become somewhat of an anti-social, social, insecure bitch. I have the weirdest relationship with my mom when we get along I love her I really do, but when we dont I want to kill her. And dnt figuratively either like oh they all say that like literally like I plan how to do it in my head and pray she gives me a reason. And me and my mom dnt get along often. At the moment we're not even on speaking terms because I was gone from home for the better part of a week because I decided had I stayed in this house a day longer I would go through with killing her and I needed a break fast. I am currently 19 my birthday was this past thanksgiving (dnt get me started on how my birthday went) but I am 19 and all my life my mom has always treated me like a child and told me what to do, say, wear, eat, drink, and think. And I am tired of it. She once got mad at me for challenging her when she told me when I go vote for Obama dnt vote for question 6 or whichever one it was to legalize gay marriage. First of all I was going to vote for Obama anyway but if I didnt what business of yours is it the whole point of elections is I get to voice my opinion not the opinion of others. Also what if Im not as big a gay hater as you. Quick detour my mom is one of those die hard Christians who thinks shes perfect. But is the one who makes christians look bad and is severely hypocritically. (Arent all christians hypocrites?) Haha funny but seriously I am a christian and try to live the best way I can and its hard and I understand I fuck up and Im no better than anyone else. I personally think gay marriage is wrong even tho I will admit sexy lesbians turn me own. But honestly I will not tell someone they cannot marry someone they feel they love despite how I feel about it. And neither will I let someones sexual orientation affect how I treat them or interact with them. Even though I swear to God I hate the gay people that talk in high pitched lispy voices and walk a certain way. Being gay SHOULD NOT make you do all that. And you all no what I mean by all that.
Anyway I am going off in a tangent. Let me close my first blog entry with the reason I even got a blog in the first place. Basically I'm a severely insecure person, and extremely poor judge of character. Who has and picks terrible "friends". I spent the majority of the week I spent away from home with my "friend" we all call him Peru cause thats where he's from. Me and Peru have always sort of been cool except for the fact he owes me money for weed I fronted him and Im pretty sure he has no intention of paying me back (and yea i sell weed, I guess I'll get into that at some point in the future) and Im not really sure when we started become real tight, but long story short I considered Peru to be my boy. However turns out Peru and his sister are sketchy ass muthafuckers who cant be trusted. This fucker and his sister have been stealing from me and talking behind my back as well doing the same to their other "friends". Turns out way back (and this is all information I have found out over time from various people) that Peru has stole shit from my college dorm when I had him over one time. I also found out at this party I got super drunk at and passed out that while I was out his fuckin sister who to this day smiles at me, texts me, asks favors of me, went into my pocket stole weed and a pack of gum from me and her and Peru smoked it. To make it worse they came up with this whole cover story about how I was blacked out and gave it to some girl in exchange for a lap dance. The saddest part of the story is I FUCKING BELIEVED THEM. I also found out they stole another friend of theirs shambala bracelet which are theses expensive shiny shits. Basically these muthafuckers cant be trusted. But at the end of the day even after finding all this shit out I spent additional nights at their house, chillin with Peru, suckin up to his sister Elayne who Im pretty sure I only like cause my boy Cameron expressed interest in her. And just tonight I hit them up to chill. Just what the fuck is wrong with me?
So yea I'm just going to end it there. Its almost 5 am and the morning of whats supposed to be the end of the world. Im going to watch some The Office and hopefully try to sleep.
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